Stupid News

it may not look it on a map, but it is. besides this is Anchorage. It doesnt reach out very far into the pacific like the rest of that damned state

Yeah, but it's not halfway around the world~.

if it takes more than a day! to get from a to b then i consider that halfway around the world. In this case a flight from the American/Canadian shores to japan takes at the least 18hrs at the most 26hrs(if you have layovers and shit)

Anyways, here's more stupid/strange news~!

Quote :

Pasta jar penis man chased by police

A man has been fined after he was caught by police in his car with his penis in a pasta jar.

Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, was spotted acting suspiciously in his car by police near Nobbys Beach in Australia. When police approached him, they suspected he might be armed, so they drew their weapons. When he saw the officers, Weatherley pulled away and led police on a 20kph chase which lasted up to ten minutes.

Police found a number of items in the car, including pornography, a home-made sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier. When he finally stopped the vehicle, he refused to exit the car, and officers used batons and spray to remove him. They found him with a 750ml pasta jar around his penis. While they were trying to restrain him, Weatherley continued to pleasure "himself in between bouts of wrestling".


Weatherley pleaded guilty to offensive behaviour, resisting police and disobeying a police direction. He said he resisted police because he was trying to make himself "decent". He was fined £257.

"Police found a number of items in the car, including pornography, a home-made sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier." What. The. Fuck. That poor dog.

Zombies not quite for the win...

Quote :

Austin Texas: Unlikely Battleground of Impending Zombie Attack

Someone reprogrammed two city construction road signs near the University of Texas early Monday morning in an attempt to warn Austin of an imminent zombie attack.

Messages that typically alert Lamar Boulevard drivers to a detour for Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard splashed several warnings like “Caution! Zombies Ahead!” and “Nazi Zombies! Run!!!”

As he drove south on Lamar, traffic controller Bruce Jones saw the first sign flash the Nazi zombies message at 6 a.m. and wheeled his truck around for another look. Then he said he noticed that the second sign, directed at northbound drivers, had also been tampered with.

Jones, who has one of only two keys to the locked access panels on the portable signs, said that the hacker broke into the panels on each sign and bypassed the passwords before leaving five different zombie messages and even changing one of the passwords. Jones said he had to wait until 8 a.m. to call the manufacturing company to figure out how to override the hacker’s work. He speculated that the hacker could be a computer genius from UT.

The biggest safety hazard came from drivers slowing down or stopping their car to take pictures, Jones said.

The hacking occurred within weeks of various articles appearing online with descriptions of how to hack into these road signs — which point out that such an act is illegal.

Dennis Crabill, project manager with the Public Works Department, said the access panels are always locked and are not programmed with the default passwords these sites suggest. Short of having a watchman on duty around the clock, he said there is little more the city can do to prevent such vandalism.

“It’s a pretty childish prank,” he said.

Crabill said he is optimistic that MLK Boulevard will be open to two-way traffic again by this weekend, and the detour will no longer be necessary.

No zombies have been seen in the area, and with any luck, Tuesday night’s cold front killed off any undead with ghoulish plans to invade the city.

From yesterday's news.

Quote :

Valley of the Blow-Up Dolls

A Florida man was arrested yesterday after he was spotted fondling and making out with a pair of blow-up dolls in a supermarket parking lot. Shoppers called cops when they spotted George Bartusek, 51, getting busy in the front seat of his 1998 Lincoln Town Car, which was parked directly in front of a Publix store.

According to a police report, witnesses told cops that Bartusek was "performing activity to two different blow up dolls in his vehicle that was consistent with masturbation and other simulated sexual activity."

He was also spotted "aggressively" kissing the dolls.

When confronted by police, Bartusek said that he was headed to Target to "get some clothes for his dolls." Bartusek, charged with breach of peace, was wearing shorts with a three-inch opening "in the crotch area." Of course, he "had no underwear on under the shorts," noted police.

From something stupid,

Quote :

Snellville politics have reached a low point. Jerry Oberholtzer, the mayor of the Atlanta suburb, has been asking for police escorts to the restroom in City Hall after a verbal altercation with city council member Robert Jenkins a few months ago. Oberholtzer says he no longer feels comfortable around Jenkins.

Jenkins says the mayor has no reason to worry for his physical safety and should only "fear me as a political opponent." The mayor has even had police Chief Roy Whitehead escort him to the restroom.

Jenkins and Oberholtzer have butted heads for years. Last week, the mayor sent pictures of what he said are code violations at one of Jenkins' properties to police. Authorities issued a warning to the councilman to clean up by March 1 or face jail time.

to something sweet...and stupid,

Quote :

Police say an Ohio teenager tried to pull off a sweet deal by ordering more than $37,000 of candy online and charging the bill to his former high school.

Police say the 18-year-old used a Middletown High School purchasing number to place orders for thousands of lollipops and candy bars from Michigan-based The Goodies Factory. It wasn't clear how he accessed the number.

The candy company became suspicious, contacted the school and was told by detectives to send an empty box.

Police say he had the order shipped to his home and was arrested after the fake delivery.

The teen faces two counts of felony telecommunications fraud. He was being held in Middletown City Jail on more than $30,000 bond.

Sucks, guess he won't be getting any candy.

But is it really that much of a big-deal? lol it's candy they could have shared it.

lol Yeah I wonder about that too since it could have been shared all along.

However, in some places candy is serious business so you better watch yourself before you attempt it. o.o

Lol! Maybe the administration just wanted it all for themselves.

Y'know what they should do?

Whenever candies sponser like teams and whatnot...they should have a mascot fight at half-time.

Hmmm....Half-time mascot battle wars.

*Thinks about it and gets an evil grin*

I smell PROFIT!!

(>_>); ...Why? Someone could get hurt. Everyone knows how violent and unpredictable mascots are.

Point in case.

True, they're very unpredictable and violent at most times.

Yet, most people enjoy seeing people in big mascot outfits duking it out to see who'll be victorious towards something that could just be ignored and walk away.

If someone would make a sport out of mascot battling I would thank the person and then hit him with a random object for making somethign so stupid.

*smacks forehead* Sigh...More news

Quote :

A man who reached into his pocket to pay for lunch at a hospital cafeteria in Lafayette accidentally shot himself with the gun in his pocket. Police and officials at Exempla Good Samaritan Medical Center said it was an unfortunate accident.

Officials said 59-year-old Steve Tapp of Thornton was treated at the hospital and released. No one else was hurt.

Officials said Tapp, who was visiting family at the hospital, shot himself in the right thigh Tuesday. Security guards responded and took the gun.

Tapp faces possible misdemeanor charges of unlawfully carrying a concealed weapon, prohibited use of a weapon and reckless endangerment.

The hospital forbids guns, although no sign was posted Tuesday stating the policy.

What? He shot himself? How.....not smart.
What the heck? I guess it's better than shooting himself in the junk..you know how some people carry their guns.

Hmmm.....Good point Aeon. I feel sorry for some of the people who carry their guns at wrong places on their body.

I can understand why you could carry a gun at you in times, but most of the time its just isn't worth it since it may misfire on you or gets you into more trouble.

I just find that last line funny. "The hospital forbids guns, although no sign was posted Tuesday stating the policy." Like, people are so stupid they actually need signs to tell them what I would think is common sense. Especially if that gun isn't registered under your name and you don't have license for it.

That's true as well Sadira..but the world lack commen sense y'know.

It's like people who sue McDonalds for "making" them large...humans need someone to pawn the blame on...not all of us but you see my point?

Very well put for both Aeon and Sadira.

Sigh. Then again, I shouldn't complain. After all, without these stupid people, this thread wouldn't exist.

True enough.

Everyone plays a part in the world I suppose

*nods* We all got our own part in the world as we play this game called life.

We just live our lives to the fullest no matter what stupid thing we do. We just learn from our mistakes and try to improve towards it......Unless you're just a menace to society then we got a problem.

RANDOMNEESSSSSSS!!! So whats everyone talkign about? Too lazy to read back.

*does the 'shoulda had a v8 forehead smack to Shiro* Oi. This is a thread based on reading... =_=; Lesse, the most recent article was about this dude who shot himself in the thigh while reaching into his pocket at this hospital that didn't allow guns. And then we talked about stupid ppl and their role in society somewhat.