Stupid News

Lol I agree with Sadi. And how the hell do you get locked into a car? The locks are on the inside... flip them the other way to get out dumbass.

*sigh* Idiot, but maybe their cars are different.

Lol I laugh at the simplicities of people who lock themselves inside of things and they go into a panic attack trying to get out when the answer is just right in front of their faces.

Yeah, that could be possible since there are some manufacturers who make the cars like that.

Lol That reminds me of somethin my band teacher asked us. He's like 'You're locked in a car with a baseball bat. What do you do?' Damn near the entire class was like, I use the bat to bust the windows instead of, I unlock the door.

Hmmm interesting. Could the formula go like this in some sort of way or no?

Yes I'm sooo bored that I've just did this for the hell of it.

You + baseball bat + Locked in car + unlocking car to escape + taking baseball bat when escaping car = Destruction

LMAO!
Yea that seemed liked the obvious answer to me.

Lol Zesu. Destruction is the answer to everything. Except for the answer to life. That's 42.

Guys this is sort of gross, but...if you wanna see it.

http://www.weirdasianews.com/2009/01/12/teacher-peels-students-cheek-skin/

And even worse, for the ladies.

http://www.weirdasianews.com/2008/05/18/water-fountain-rips-womans-vagina-sfw/

I will now proceed to vomit in my disgust. Thank you.

*gets up, runs over to the bathroom and slams the door closed*

Poor baby to the first and that sucks to the second. They weren't that bad though.

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

<<Think. Feel. Stupid News.>>
Here's a follow up to one of our previous articles. Looks like that good Samaritan won't be ticketed after all.

Quote :

DENVER – The Colorado State Patrol has withdrawn the $22 jaywalking ticket issued to a good Samaritan who was seriously injured by a pickup after he pushed three people out of its path.

Bus driver Jim Moffett of Denver and another man were helping two elderly women cross a busy Denver street in a snowstorm when he was hit Feb. 20.

Moffett, 58, suffered bleeding in the brain, broken bones, a dislocated shoulder and a possible ruptured spleen. He remained hospitalized in serious condition Friday.

"He's doing better, but it's going to be a long, hard road for him," said his wife, Donna. "His knee is just completely destroyed, his shoulder was badly dislocated, he's got a lot of internal injuries."

The State Patrol said in a statement that it withdrew the citation "after examining the ... circumstances" and consulting with prosecutors. A patrol spokesman didn't immediately return a call seeking comment.

The patrol initially said that despite Moffett's intentions, jaywalking contributed to the accident.

The patrol also withdrew jaywalking citations against the other good Samaritan and one of the two women. The other woman wasn't cited because troopers said she wasn't directly involved.

A citation against the pickup driver for careless driving resulting in injury still stands.

The two women and the other good Samaritan were passengers on Moffett's Regional Transportation District bus.

"He told his son he'd do it again, which really upsets me because he almost lost his life," Donna Moffett said.

<<Kick ass with Stupid News!>>

In light of recent threads, it's time for something more chill and happier to read.

We begin with a happy ending.

Quote :

RENO, Nev. – The eagle has landed — with a thud — after crashing through the windshield of a tractor-trailer on a Nevada highway. State wildlife officials said Wednesday that a 15-pound golden eagle with a 7-foot wing span has a swollen head but otherwise appears unhurt after crashing into a Florida truck driver's big rig on Monday.

Matthew Roberto Gonzalez of Opa Locka, Fla., was driving on U.S. Interstate 80 in northeast Nevada near Wells, about 60 miles west of the Utah line, when the eagle came crashing into the cab of his truck.

"I heard a loud thump like a brick or something coming through the glass," said Daryl Young of Miami, the co-driver who was dozing in the sleeper berth when it happened. "I woke up, and the windshield was all over me. Next thing I know there was a big bird lying on the floor."

Joe Doucette, a spokesman for the Nevada Department of Wildlife, said it appears the eagle hit the windshield head first.

"One side of the head is swollen, but there does not appear to be any permanent damage," he said.

"The guys in the truck immediately bailed out because it was one ticked off bird. She was pretty feisty," Doucette said. "Even the officer who responded didn't want to go in there so we had one of our wildlife biologists do it."

The eagle was recovering at the Northeast Nevada Wildlife Rehabilitation Center in Spring Creek, and Doucette said the goal was to release it back into the wild.

Jeffrey Spires, owner of Spires Trucking of South Florida in Miramar, Fla., said he thought his drivers were kidding when they called to report the damage.

"Never in trucking history," he said.

And then return to the normal dumb shit expected of people.

Quote :

Man trying to save spot for wife gets run over

LEHIGH ACRES, Fla. – Authorities said a man intentionally ran over another man who was trying to save a parking spot at a gas station on Monday. The Lee County Sheriff's Office reported that the victim was standing in a spot to reserve it for his wife at the Murphy USA gas station.

The man saving the spot told deputies that he held up his hands when another man pulled up to the line, but the man drove forward and hit him in the knees.

When the victim yelled at the man to stop, authorities said the suspect pulled forward and hit the man again, causing bruising and swelling. Other witnesses backed up the victim's story.

The suspect was arrested and charged with misdemeanor battery.

And proof using 'John Doe' never works cept on tv...Well, it doesn't when you dumbass uses something traceable.

Quote :

Man uses debit card to buy drink in alleged holdup

CHARLESTON, W.Va. – Would-be robbers take note: Don't use your debit card during a holdup. A West Virginia man who police say attempted to rob a convenience store instead ended up buying a soft drink with his debit card — ultimately leading to his arrest.

Shawn Thomas Lester, 33, told the store clerk Monday he had a gun and wanted all the money in the register, police said. But the suspect got flustered when a customer walked in and the clerk told him to pay for the soft drink.

Lester handed over his debit card, then signed the receipt "John Doe" and left without any cash.

Police traced the debit card and found Lester, of Charleston. He told police he was only joking when he said he had a gun and demanded money.

He was charged with armed robbery in Kanawha County, according to a criminal complaint.

It was not clear whether Lester had an attorney. His phone number was unlisted.

Well if you guys are into this...I'm not sure if you are...check out Philip DeFranco on Youtube. He posts videoes about interesting new, including his douchebag of the day part near the end. Each douchebag is from a different part of the world...for example one time he called the douchebag of the YEAR, being an Australian man who locked his daughter in his barement for 24 years, raped her numberous times, has already had like...4 kids with her.

Oh yeah, Josef Fritzl. I've heard about that man. Horrible and disturbing guy he was, yet if you go on 4chan and mention him in the /b/ section of it they'll say that he's the final boss of the /b/tards and a hero towards them.

In short, stay away from /b/ as possible!! Especially if you're a girl in there!! >.<

TOO LATE. 8D

NNNNOOOOOO!! CURSE YOU 4CHAN, /b/!!!

*waves his fist in the air out of anger*

Lmao...it has infected us. D:

*shudders* 4chan FTL.

Gee Zesu, now Im go troll it just cuz you told me not to XD.

<<It's 12 AM. Do you know where your Stupid News is?>>

Quote :

Bus Driver Charged With Egging On Snowball Attack

(AP) A school bus driver has been charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor after she allegedly offered students cash to throw snowballs at a 13-year-old boy. The woman was arrested Wednesday.

According to police, the 34-year-old woman interjected herself into a verbal tussle between two students. Police said the driver got on the bus' PA system and offered varying amounts of money to students to either throw snowballs at the 13-year-old or stuff snow down his shirt.

Several students did throw snowballs at the boy, who was not seriously injured.

Quote :

Man At Border Asks For Manners, Gets Pepper Spray

(AP) A Canadian says he got a face full of pepper spray after repeatedly asking a U.S. border inspector in Blaine, Wash., to say please.

Desiderio Fortunato says he thought the inspector who told him to turn off his engine Monday was rude and asked him to say please.

The 54-year-old British Columbia resident told The Bellingham Herald that the inspector repeatedly ordered him to turn the car off and then said he would spray him if he didn't.

Fortunato says he was stunned and blinded by the pepper spray and was pulled out of the car and handcuffed. He was detained about 3 hours.

Customs and Border Protection spokesman Mike Milne (MILL'-en) in Seattle says it was a lawful order that travelers must obey. He says the use of force is under review.

The school system said the driver has been suspended from duty and was on paid leave.

Quote :

Police: Man Climbs Pole To Test New Shoe Spikes

(AP) A man who begged neighbors not to call police was arrested after he was rescued dangling from a utility pole. Sgt. Bruce Rood said a 26-year-old man used shoe spikes to climb more than 20 feet up the pole when he become stuck Tuesday night. Neighbors called 911 despite his protests and when officers arrived, they found him hanging from a climbing strap around his waist.

Officers took the man into custody after determining that he had two outstanding warrants. He remained jailed on Thursday. Police are also investigating thefts of copper wire from utility poles in the area.

The man told officers he was just trying out his new shoe spikes.

a whole bunch of fail lol

Wouldnt just climbing a tree have the intended effect of trying out your new shoe spikes without the added bonus of a possible eletrocution?

damn there is really stupid people in america

if he wanted to test his shoe spikes then why didnt he just go mountain climbing or hiking

There are some really stupid people out there period. xD

<<Stupid News, whiter than the whitest!>>

Quote :

Octopus Gets Inside Lunchbox At Boston Aquarium

(AP) What is 7 feet long, weighs 30 pounds, has eight arms and fits in a box slightly larger than a milk crate? Truman the octopus. Truman squeezed into a clear, acrylic box while trying to snag his lunch at the New England Aquarium in Boston.

Aquarium workers often place food inside locked boxes for the intelligent animals to crack open. It's what the aquarium calls an "enrichment activity," but it didn't go as planned Thursday.

In this case, crabs were locked in a smaller box inside the bigger box, which is 14 inches per side. The impatient Truman bypassed the locks and squeezed his body through a 2-inch hole in the exterior box.

He spent about 30 minutes inside before slithering out, delighting staff and guests who witnessed the spectacle.

He never did get the smaller box open.

Here for a pic.

Quote :

Drunken Mich. Man Asks Cop For Hug, Gets Arrested

(AP) Police said a drunken man was arrested after he cursed at an officer who refused to give him a hug. The Ann Arbor News reported the 44-year-old man had been yelling at people and walking in the street Thursday when officers responded. The man agreed to return to his home in Washtenaw County's Superior Township, about 30 miles west-southwest of Detroit.

But he then approached a patrol car and yelled at an officer, asking for a hug and swearing at him when the officer refused, while still blocking traffic.

The man was arrested and detained. He refused a Breathalyzer test and may face disorderly conduct charges.

Quote :

Utility Sent Idaho Couple Wrong Bill For 3 Years

(AP) A utility has reimbursed a northern Idaho couple nearly $2,000 after sending them someone else's gas bill for more than three years. Avista Corp. spokeswoman Debbie Simock said the company has also offered an apology to Don and Penny Fisher. "It was ridiculous," Don Fisher told the Coeur d'Alene Press. "Even in the hot months it was riding up and we were paying for it."

The Fishers said they built fires and bundled up but continued to get big gas bills for three years and three months. They said their inquiries to Avista didn't get results.

"Argue, argue, argue," the couple said.

They said they reported a fake gas leak in January to get a visit from a company representative, who discovered that meter readings in the subdivision had been crossed.

The Fishers said they had to skimp on three Christmases due to their nearly $500 in winter gas and electric bills.

"It was ridiculous," Don Fisher said. "We could not be using that much gas."

"We're very sorry that this happened," said Simock. "We're taking a look at our internal process to make sure this doesn't happen again."

Simock said the company didn't have a report of a gas leak at the home, but instead sent someone to check on problems with the meter after getting details of the problem.

The Fishers said one of their bills was for $238, while the neighbor who was paying their bill was charged $28.

"Everyone was wondering how they kept their house so warm," Don said. "And even they didn't know."

Simock said that under Idaho Public Utilities Commission rules, Avista could bill the second customer for the last six months for energy used but not charged for.

But she said the company is not going to bill that customer.

"Because the error was our fault, we are not going to rebill the customer for six months," she said.

Spokane, Wash.-based Avista serves 121,000 electric and more than 93,000 natural gas customers in Idaho.